


Heathens

by Stormsong



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Disabled Character, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Violence, M/M, No insest, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Partial Blindness, Physical Disability, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Raven Nathaniel, Siblings, Twin AU, reconnecting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-02 15:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10947705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormsong/pseuds/Stormsong
Summary: Mary Wesninski had twin boys. Abram and Nathaniel. Both were supposed to go to the Moriyama's Exy team The Ravens. After their tryout with Riko and Kevin Mary ran with Abram.Inspired by Blood and Smoke by andriel(Was titled Smoke and Mirrors. New title comes from Heathens by Twenty One Pilots.)





	1. Fear and Hope

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Blood and Smoke](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7614058) by [andreil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andreil/pseuds/andreil). 



> Some dialogue is straight from the book. Some other stuff is lifted from the book but reworded. After the beginning bits its going to get very "canon divergent".

“Please go away,” he told the coach that had come to recruit him. Playing college exy was something he could not allow himself to have. No matter how badly he wanted it.

“It's a bit sudden, Neil, but I really do need an answer tonight. The Committee's been hounding me since Janie got locked up.”

Neil's stomach hit bottom. That name was recently in the news in connection to one team. “Foxes. Palmetto State University.” The words came out emotionless. With those words came other knowledge. Neil now knew that the man before him was Coach David Wymack. The man that recruited talented rejects and junkies. Known for giving second chances to broken kids to form a team most would call fractured isolationists. To say the least, the team wasn't known for their winning streaks.

But that might change with Kevin Day on their team. If the former national champion could straighten out the team the Foxes might have a chance. Kevin Day was the reason Neil couldn't have college exy. What were the chances that the coach of the team Kevin Day was on wanted to recruit Neil?

It had been eight years since they had seen each other, but there was absolutely no way that Kevin wouldn't recognize Neil. Even with a different hair color, different eye color (contacts were great like that), and going by a different name, Neil Josten (completely fake) still looked like his identical twin brother Nathaniel Wesninski. Whom Kevin had been playing exy with for seven of the eight years Neil had been on the run with his mother.

“You can't be here,” the words didn't come out as strong and sure as Neil wanted them to be.

“Yet here I stand,” Wymack replied. “Need a pen?”

“No,” Neil told the man. This time he spoke a little more sure. “No, I'm not playing for you.”

“I must have misheard you.”

“You signed Kevin.”

“And Kevin's signing you, so-”

Neil didn't stick around to her him finish.

In an instant he was up and bolting for the locker room, the closest exit. He had to go. Anywhere. Away from Wymack. Away from the small town high school. He'll leave the small town and forget. Forget graduation. Forget 'Neil Josten'. And most of all forget Wymack and his offer of everything he ever wanted.

He was halfway through the locker room when he found out it wasn't as empty as he thought it should be. Light glinted off of a bright yellow racket as it swung for Neil; who had been running too fast to stop or dodge. Wood slammed into his gut so hard he was sure his stomach and lungs were greeting his spine.

As his insides greeted one another Neil greeted the floor on his hands and knees. He was still trying to find enough air in the way of gasping when he realized people around him were talking.

Wymack's furious tone came in clear, but distant, as he growled, “God dammit, Minyard.” Neil recognized that name, but his head was too fuzzy to figure it out. “This is why we can't have nice things.”

“Oh, Coach,” Someone replied closer and over Neil's head. “If he was nice he wouldn't be of any use to us, would he?” The tone was oddly light. There was something off about the speaker Neil couldn't place right then.

“He's no use to us if you break him.”

“You'd rather I let him go? Put a band-aid on him and he'll be good as new.”

Finally getting enough air for a decent inhale Neil wrapped an arm around his middle and stood. That got him his first look at his assailant. Andrew Minyard, goalie for the PSU Foxes. The blonde was two inches shorter than Neil himself. Putting Andrew at five foot even. The short goalie had made exy news by turning down the offer made by Edgar Allen Ravens. Where Kevin Day played before injuring his dominant hand and transferring to the Foxes the year before. The very same team Neil's twin still played for. Even though Nathaniel hadn't made his debut yet he was making a name for himself.

So it shouldn't been a surprise when Neil heard an in drawn breath of recognition. What _was_ surprising was that it didn't come from Andrew.

“Abram?” The word was spoken so softly that Neil almost didn't hear it. But he would have heard that name spoken at any volume.

In slow motion, in horror movie style and with the same amount of fear of finding the thing you were running from, Neil turned his head. Only to come face to face with the monster or ax murderer. Except Kevin Day was neither. No, Neil had known monsters and ax murders, Kevin Day would never be either of those.

Surprised was what the, now, Fox striker was.

“Don't call me that,” was all Neil could think to say. Of all the things he _could have_ said that was probably the last thing he _should have_. If his mother was there she would have been so pissed at how badly he had given himself away.

…

 

Kevin could not believe his eyes.

He had seen the tape the small town high school coach had sent to Wymack. It was why they had taken a plane all the way out here. The kid on the tape had the potential Kevin was looking for to help get the Foxes on the right track. But with the helmet on he hadn't been able to get a good look at the face. Now he was wishing he'd bothered to look at the file. Not that it would have changed a thing. He still would have needed to see 'Neil Josten' for himself.

Either way, nothing would have prepared him for seeing Abram Wesninski after eight years.

Sure the hair was dyed brown and he was wearing colored contacts, but it was still him. Still Abram. Still Nathaniel's identical twin.

Seeing Abram before him sent fear and hope simultaneously through Kevin. Fear at what the Moriyamas would do if they got a hold of Abram and hope for Nathaniel.

“Nathaniel misses you, Abram,” the words were out of Kevin's mouth before he could think about them. Much like when he said 'Abram' the first time.

“Don't call me that,” Abram/Neil snarled.

Those words hadn't caused much of a reaction the first time. When spoken like that however....

Andrew and Wymack both narrowed their eyes. The coach of the PSU Foxes wasn't slow. He couldn't be with the players he liked to recruit. And Andrew, even high on his court ordered pills, could still make important connections...even if he didn't have all the puzzle pieces.

It was the high school exy coach's “What's going on here?” that went completely ignored.

“Sign the contract and you can play exy,” Kevin promised, trying to get things back on topic. Even knowing that Neil was Abram he still wanted the younger striker on his team. On the Foxes team.

“You know as well as I that I can't,” the words were angry. Probably rightfully so.

Kevin's eyes flicked to Andrew's then back to Abram's. “What if you could?”

Before Abram could respond Andrew spoke up. “Yes, yes, what if?” His grin was sickly sweet as he moved to Abram's side. Then, quick as lightning, he had the Abram/Neil's chin in a firm grip. One that Abram couldn't break out of, no matter how hard he tried. “Hold still, little rabbit,” Andrew chided. Whatever the manic goalie saw it pleased him. He looked to Kevin with a grin the striker would never trust no matter that Kevin had put his life in Andrew's hands. “You want the little rabbit?”

“Yes.” It wasn't a question he needed to think about. Hope had overridden fear. For the moment.

Chin still in his grip Andrew pulled Abram/Neil close to whisper in his ear.

…

 

Neil replayed Andrew's words as he looked down at the unsigned contract.

“Take the contract, little rabbit. Graduate, then come to Palmetto and make a deal with me. I'll keep the Ravens away when off the court.”

He still didn't know why he hadn't thrown it away. He should have. He should have thrown it away and run. But he didn't. He had taken the contract; and actually considered signing it and going to Palmetto State University. Where just maybe he wouldn't have to run anymore, get to play exy; and maybe one day, if Neil let himself think about it, have his brother again; if he was truly lucky.

All that he got from one whispered sentence that meant more to him than the others. _“I'll keep the Ravens away when off the court.”_ That more than any of what was said afterwords had Neil taking the contract with a promise to think about joining the Foxes.

Hope began to grow inside of Neil. Mostly hope that he could have a future. But also hope that his decision didn't cost him his life.

 


	2. Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even after arriving in South Carolina to join the Foxes Neil still doesn't believe its a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A brief panic attack in this chapter.

Neil had been promised a ride from the airport to Coach Wymack's apartment. Wymack hadn't said who.

So he really shouldn't have been surprised at who met him at Arrivals. Maybe the surprise had to do with how many people was waiting for him. By the looks of it it was half the team. _Why would Wymack send half the team? Did the coach know something?_ Neil racked his brain, but he was sure that nothing had been said, that night in the locker room, that could have clued the coach that having Neil as part of the team was dangerous enough to have such a large escort.

Something must have shown on his face as he walked closer. One of the group stepped forward, a guy with darker skin than the rest and shorter than Kevin, but still towered over Neil, was easily recognized as Nicholas Hemmick. Well, if you followed exy and paid attention to the Foxes at all; like Neil did.

Hemmick came forward with a outstretched hand and a friendly smile. He was the only one smiling. Neil shook the hand only after a brief second of hesitation. “I'm Nicky,” the man introduced himself. Then in explanation and with a wave of his hand behind him to the others, “Kevin wanted to come meet you, so that meant Andrew had to come, and I'm the one with the keys...and I didn't want to leave Aaron by himself....” Nicky shrugged.

_Oh._ Neil took that to mean that it was _normal_ for them. For these team members to travel and be around each other. All the time. After only having his mother with him for so long, and now she was gone, he didn't know how he was going to handle being around so many people _all the time._ Neil suppressed a shudder.

Unawares, a silence had formed and grown awkward.

Nicky cleared his throat. “So...um...you got a suitcase or something you need to get from Baggage Claim?”

Neil tightened his grip on the duffel bag he'd used as a carry on. It held everything he owned. “This is it.”

The backliner frowned, but it didn't last. “You pack light! That's awesome! I wish I could travel like that, but hell if I ain't materialistic. C'mon, lets get you outta here then.” Nicky turned around and lead the way back towards the rest of his group.

The Minyard twins, Andrew and Aaron, he could not tell apart. They wore identical outfits and expressions. After meeting Andrew Neil thought he would be able to tell one from the other. He knew that Andrew was on court ordered drugs, it had been all over the sports news, and that everyone considered Aaron the 'normal' one. So was Andrew coming down off his artificial high? Or was this a test? Neil wasn't sure he cared for either possibility.

Whatever the case, without gesturing, Nicky said, “You already met Kevin and Andrew, and that's his brother Aaron. You'll meet the rest of the Foxes when they come back in June.”

While Nicky spoke Neil didn't miss Kevin's frown and glace at Neil's single bag. He would have tightened his hold again, but he was already nearly white knuckled as it was.

For some reason Nicky sighed. When Neil glance his way the taller man shook his head, grinned, and said to the group, “Let's hit the road. Coach is expecting Neal by dinner time at Abby's and I for one don't want to be stuck in rush hour traffic.”

“I want to take him to the court,” Kevin spoke up as the group began its exodus towards the airport exit.

One of the twins replied, “Of course you do. Let's drop his bag off at Coach's then you can put him through his paces all you want.”

A wave of apprehension went through Neil. Part of it was the idea of leaving his bag where anyone could get to it, but the biggest part was that Neil Josten simply wasn't good enough to play with a Class I team. Even one as bad as the Foxes was too good for him. 'Neil Josten' only had one year of experience. Add on Abram Wesninski's Little League years and he still wouldn't have enough experience to play for a Class I team.

Neil certainly didn't have his brother's eight years experience of training with a national champion team. 'Neil' had spent those years running away from enemies. His mother had told him to forget exy. Something he'd never been able to do. That's why he'd gone to the high school in Millport at all. The itch to play exy had overcome his need to run.

And it had gotten him here. On a team he had no reason to be on. Risking his life for a sport his mother had tried to beat out of him. For his own good. She had done a lot for Neil's own good and it felt like he was disrespecting her teachings, and the memory of her, for something that would likely get him killed.

The walk to the car was quiet. Or rather the group was quiet. At first Nicky tried to talk to the twins, but he was mostly met with silence. When he tried talking to Neil he was met with very little success. Eventually he gave up with a look of dejection. Neil almost felt bad for the friendly guy. But Neil didn't trust friendly. Not that Neil had ever trusted anyone other than his mother.

Nicky hadn't even tried to make conversation with Kevin. That one said not a word as he typed on his phone. Neil knew Kevin had spent the last year as the Foxes' assistant coach. Did that mean he kept such a close reign on the other team members? Was it something he brought over from the way the Ravens worked? Or worse yet, was he talking to someone from his old team?

Neil fought of the panic that threatened to overtake him. There was no way that Kevin would hand Neil over to the Moriyamas. Kevin, himself, had left them. And Kevin _had_ said he wanted Neil for the Foxes. He'd said so in the locker room in Millport back in April. _But it was the beginning of May now, had Kevin changed his mind in such a short time?_

Suddenly Neil couldn't get enough breath in his lungs. He _would not_ be handed over to the Moriyamas. His mother had fought so hard and long to keep him from them. Even if that had meant giving up one son to save another.

A hand reached out for him and Neil backed away. He wouldn't let them take him!

“What's the matter with him?”

“Why are you looking at me? Why would I know?”

The voices and the words weren't making any sense. They didn't sound like they were trying to take Neil to the Moriyamas. But the panic attack had him in its grip and wasn't letting go.

Someone huffed, “Idiots.”

This time Neil didn't see the hand coming. However, he still flinched when it landed on the back of his neck. The hand tightened, not enough to hurt, but enough to be firm; and then he was being forced to bend over at the waist. Somehow that helped and Neil could finally draw more air into his lungs.

…

 

Neil hadn't been wrong. Kevin _had_ been talking to someone from his old team. But not for the reasons that caused him to panic.

What Neil didn't know, what no one did, except perhaps Andrew and David Wymack, was that Kevin kept in touch with two former teammates. Jean Moreau and, the one who he had been texting, Nathaniel Wesninski. It was a secret that even the two Ravens kept from Riko Moriyama, Captain of the Ravens and nephew of Tetsuji Moriyama.

It was Jean and Nathaniel that had helped Kevin when he needed it the most. It was Jean and Nathaniel that took punishment when Riko had found out. Jean and Nathaniel were his best friends, the closest thing Kevin had to real family since his own mother had died and he'd been taken in by Tetsuji. Kevin would never fool himself that even though he had been adopted on paper that that he'd been part of the Moriyama family. The Moriyamas weren't the kind of family that actually loved one another.

So, of course, Kevin told Nathaniel that he'd found Abram. That his twin was going by Neil. And that there had been no sign of Mary.

Nathaniel had been...full of emotions he almost couldn't hide. He had been grateful that he had managed to find a moment with no one else around when he read the text. It had to be a short moment. Those were all the ones anyone ever got in the Nest when anyone got a moment at all. Not enough time to sort out emotions though, not the kind Nathaniel found himself with. So he'd read the text, shoved the emotions down where he could look at them tonight in bed, and went on to the showers before he went to find a bite to eat. Then it was back to practice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo! A peek at Nathaniel! No worries, we should see more of him real soon :D


	3. Safe and Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathaniel contemplates the safety of his twin brother, Abram.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is deliberately short.

Nathaniel was glad that his brother was safe with Kevin.

Whatever feelings he'd had towards his mother had long ago vanished. At first he had been hurt and angry that she hadn't run with him as well. Eventually that turned into being grateful that Abram hadn't been subjected to the same harshness that Nathaniel was, and hope that whatever was happening to Abram wasn't as bad as what the Master could do.

Nathaniel wasn't a fool. Their childhood hadn't been perfect. How could they when their mother was only slightly less harsh than their father who had a penchant for large knives and axes.

Every night for the last eight years Nathaniel had gone to sleep knowing that somewhere his brother was alive. Not safe. Alive. Nowhere was safe as long as his father and the Master were alive. The arm of Lord Moriyama was long reaching. So as long as Nathaniel heard nothing about his mother and brother, and Riko would make sure to tell Nathaniel (never out of kindness), no news was literally good news.

Now he'd been told that his brother had signed on with the Foxes. That statement held so many implications. It said strongly that Coach David Wymack thought Abram (or Neil, the name he was going by) was a good fit for his broken team. Abram was not with the Ravens, that was a good thing. Nathaniel's brother was safe. For now.

For eight years Nathaniel had gone to sleep knowing his brother was alive. That had kept him going. Now Nathaniel went to sleep knowing his brother was safe.

How long would it last?

_At least until August, when the season starts._ Abram should be safe that long. It helped that his brother going by 'Neil Josten' and Coach Wymack keeping the details of his new striker sub to himself. _Once Neil Josten steps foot on court for his first game in August all bets will be off._

Nathaniel was lost in thoughts of his brother as he stared at the latest text about Abram from Kevin. After reading each one Nathaniel would delete it. As he did with every text from Kevin. But now, he hated that practice. He wanted to cherish these little bits of the twin he hadn't seen in eight years. The only good thing from Nathaniel's childhood.

So he hadn't, yet, deleted the most recent.

**#2:** _It's a good thing Abram has your drive for exy._

The message before that had been Kevin lamenting how much work Nathaniel's brother was going to need to get him to where Kevin thought he should be. To which Nathaniel had reminded the former-Raven that Abram had been on the run for the last eight years.

"Nathaniel!" A voice called out. The sound bounced off the locker room walls.

He pressed the lock button to make the screen go dark and put his phone away.

When he went to see who or what needed his attention Nathaniel had a grim smile on his face. It was thoughts of his twin that kept him going. But it was exy that kept him alive. Exy was what kept everyone in the Nest alive.

 


	4. Lies and Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lies are spoken and truths are told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter feels compressed. I really don't like rehashing stuff directly from the book/movie/episode. I don't like reading rehashed stuff and i don't like writing it. So it's basically the same (as in pretend that Nicky says all those lame lines and Andrew made the usual remarks), even took words directly from the book(s) where I needed/wanted to, but also changed some stuff and added my own twist or flavor to it.
> 
> Everything after this chapter should be new stuff.

Neil had a week of safety. Not that he knew that.

What Neil knew was seven days of brutal training with Kevin. Training, insults, corrections, and drills (familiar and not).

There was also seven days of lies and truth.

Nicky tried to find out what Neil had freaked out about, but he wouldn't reply. Only told them, “I'm fine.”

He couldn't tell them he didn't trust any of them. Certainly couldn't tell them that he didn't trust them not to hand him over to the Moriyamas. Even if Neil _had_ signed a contract. 'Neil Josten' was a lie. The contract was automatically void.

After that came a string of unexpected truths.

The first two came together. A ring of keys. And a safe place to keep his bag. Both of these came from Coach Wymack. Both meant more to Neil than he would ever be able to express. Along with the honesty Neil saw in the man's face. Between the honesty and the keys Neil knew for a certainty that at least the coach wanted Neil there.

Neil waited and waited for Kevin to bring up the Moriyamas and the Ravens. Or Nathaniel. Or even for Kevin to call him Abram again. It didn't happen. Not right away.

What did happen was Nicky and one of the twins speaking in German in the elevator back down from Coach Wymack's apartment floor. Neil almost had a bad reaction to that alone.

Until he truly listened. It was an inane conversation.

“ _Which way do you think he swings?”_ Nicky asked.

One of the blonde twins sneered, “ _Why don't you ask him?”_

Nicky sighed, _“I would, but he's so jumpy.”_

The other twin spoke up, his eyes on Neil. Neil met the stare. _“I can't imagine why.”_

“ _Maybe it's your driving, Nicky,”_ the first twin teased.

“Hey!” The taller man protested in English. “My driving isn't nearly as bad as Andrew's. At least I obey most of the traffic laws.”

Neil raised an eyebrow at that. Though what he found more interesting was that he now knew which Minyard was which.

The comment on Andrew's driving finally got a reaction from Kevin. A grimace to break up the monotony of blank faces and silence. So far the only other time Kevin showed interest in anything was exy. Not that Neil found anything wrong in that.

When the group made it to the stadium Neil thought: _Finally._

When they entered the locker room marked “Gentlemen” Neil was all but actually bouncing in his excitement. He didn't even care that Kevin was watching him with knowing eyes.

Kevin said, “Give him his gear,” and just like that Neil was lead to his locker. It was marked with a #10 and below that 'Josten'.

There in the form of a jacket that Neil told Nicky, “Satellites can pick these up in outer space,” he found out that the Foxes weren't nearly as broken as people wanted to think.

“Dan commissioned them her first year here. She said she was tired of everyone trying to look past us. People want to pretend that people like us don't exist, you know? Everyone hopes we're someone else's problem to solve.” He reached out and fingered the material. “They don't understand, so they don't know where to start. They feel overwhelmed and give up before they've taken the first step.” The taller man shook the melancholy off and proceeded to tell Neil that the Foxes game tickets cost more so that part of it went to charity.

After Neil, Nicky, and Aaron changed out the three boys headed to the stadium where they found Kevin sitting in the inner ring and Andrew no where in sight. After a brief explanation that Kevin prefers the court alone or with Andrew and that Andrew had gone off to “dose up” as Nicky put it the three took to the court to run drills. For an hour and a half. Neil's favorite part were the drills that he didn't know.

He also found himself enjoying the scrimmage against the two backliners. They weren't the best players in the NCAA, but they were far better than the high schoolers Neil was used to playing against.

When Aaron called a halt Neil wasn't ready to quit. But he didn't say anything. Neil knew they were giving up their summer break to play with them. No need to push his luck.

Besides, when Neil looked over to the Home benches Andrew was back and Kevin looked like he wanted his turn at Neil. Even though the former-Raven was holding a racquet Kevin wasn't geared out. _Did that mean he wants to talk?_ Neil couldn't decide if he was hopeful for the conversation or dreading it. He had ample reason for both.

It turned out that Kevin did want to talk. Alone. Ish.

While Aaron and Nicky went to shower Kevin indicated that Neil should take a seat beside him on the bench. Andrew, who was laying on the one behind continued to toss an exy ball up and catch it. Repeatedly.

Having already taken off his helmet Neil set it on the floor near his feet after sitting down on the bench, leaving a couple feet between Kevin and himself. He stripped off his gloves and dropped them in the up turned helmet.

Once Kevin had Neil's complete attention he said, “Abram-”

Neil cut him off with a bitten off, “I told you not to call me that.”

“Why not? It's your name.”

Neil sighed in exasperation. “It hasn't been – _I_ haven't been Abram in eight years.” He could hear his mother's words. Ones she'd said over and over to him; until they became a litany. Then a promise as she died. _Don't look back, and don't trust anyone. Be anyone but yourself, and never be anyone for long._

Neil had already broken three of the four commandments.

The only part of the promise he hadn't broken yet was being himself. He wasn't completely sure he could or knew who that was. Right now all he had was 'Neil Josten'.

“Fine. Then I'll take Neil's game.”

Neil looked at him in confusion. “But I'm not good enough.”

“Give your game to me and you will be. I remember eight years ago. You were just as good as Nathaniel. If your mother hadn't runaway with you it would have been a toss up on who got the three on their cheek and who got the four.”

At the mention of the numbers Neil was reminded of the inch long 2 on Kevin's cheek. It wasn't something Neil would ever forget. Where it was marker on boys it was now a tattoo on a young man. Riko had the number 1 on his own cheek. Back then Riko was fawned over and groomed for the exy court. Years later Riko was called 'King' by his fans and people said he was gathering players for his 'perfect court'.

Riko had talked about it as a kid. Looked like he'd been serious.

Neil forced Riko out of his mind for the more important topic. One his mother never talked about.

“My brother....” The words were soft. Not because Neil meant them to be, but because that was the only way he could say them.

“Nathaniel misses you.”

“Is he...?”

A wariness came over Kevin. “He's as well as any Raven ever is.” It was an answer of sorts. Not a good one. But Neil recognized that he wasn't going to get a better one.

Kevin winced. “There is something you need to know. But before I get to that I have to ask.... Where is your mother? I can't imagine she would have let you play exy after all these years. It would have been too risky.”

Neil flinched. “She's dead. I shouldn't have, like you said. But I couldn't not play. Not anymore.” Neil sighed. “I just wanted to....”

Kevin nodded like he understood. Then he asked, “Do you know why she ran with you that night?”

“No. She wouldn't tell me. Wouldn't even talk about...” Neil took a deep breath, “my brother.” Neil went to run a hand through his hair, but found the bandanna in the way. In frustration he ripped it off, taking a hair or two with it. Neil winced. “She told me to forget about exy. As if I ever could. I couldn't forget exy any more than I could forget my brother.”

Andrew murmured, “Junkie,” as if to himself.

Neil had almost forgotten the other boy was there, but he didn't turn away from Kevin.

The former-Raven didn't pay Andrew any mind. He was too busy swearing in French.

When he was done he told Neil, “Your mother didn't have the right to runaway with you. Or your brother.” Before Neil could protest Kevin held a hand up. “Listen to what I have to say first.” When Kevin was sure Neil _would_ listen he lowered his hand and continued. “Your father was Lord Kengo's right-hand man, the most trusted weapon in Lord Kengo's arsenal.”

Neil blanched. He remembered the sounds of screams and the smell of blood that came from their basement. He remembered watching his father cut a person to pieces in front of him. And Nathaniel, and Riko and Kevin. Eight years ago.

Kevin was still talking. “He was the force that kept the empire in line and the name that would take the fall if the government ever caught on.

“Lord Kengo handpicks his people very carefully to bolster his throne. Nepotism fractures that upward loyalty. That made you and Nathaniel loose ends. Lord Kengo could have had you both killed. It would have kept things simple. But you and your brother were given a chance to earn your keep. So you were enrolled in little league to learn exy.”

Kevin paused there for a moment to let his words sink in.

And they did.

Neil didn't like the picture Kevin was painting. Everything he'd been told so far told him his life, his entire life, was a lie.

Not knowing what to say or even how to react Neil motioned for Kevin to continue.

“You were supposed to be like me, like Nathaniel,” Kevin told him. “A gift for the Master to train. You and your brother had two days to win him over. The first scrimmage, with Riko and I, was to see if you had potential. On the second day you, along with Nathaniel, were supposed to show that you could adapt to and implement the Master's instructions and criticisms. If you failed and the Master decided you weren't worth his time your father would have executed you.” Kevin shifted and ran a hand through his hair. “Your mother must not have wanted to risk both her boys to failure because she ran away with you the night before the second scrimmage.”

These new facts were more to take in than what was already had been told to Neil. He felt nauseous and rage all at once. Sick at the idea of being a gift to another human. Sick at the idea that his own life had hung on the balance of his skills at ten years old. Rage for the same reasons. And rage at his mother for taking him away from his brother.

For a handful of minutes Neil inhaled and exhaled deeply to try to calm himself down. Puking wouldn't do himself any good. And he had no one to take his anger out on.

While Neil worked on calming down his mind raced. Raced to put pieces in place. To make sense of everything Kevin unloaded onto him.

When he could, Neil asked, “Why'd you bring me here?” He wasn't referring to the stadium, but to Palmetto. To the Foxes. “If Riko finds me....” Neil didn't know how to finish the sentence so didn't.

“Raven's are supposed to be smart. But the Fox is sly. Perhaps we should have let the rabbit run after all.” It was Andrew who spoke up. Not Kevin. Andrew caught the ball one last time and sat up. By the look in his eyes and the grin on his face Neil knew that the drugs were in effect.

Kevin sighed. “If we keep you hidden well enough so that Riko doesn't get a look at you...keep your hair dyed,” He gestured to Neil's black dyed hair, “And make sure we don't put you in front of a camera, then there is hope of keeping you safe.” For a moment Kevin looked like he was going to say more, but closed his jaw with a click. There had been fear in the former-Raven's eyes, but it was gone with the unspoken words. Not before Neil could see it though. Like he could see the way Kevin massaged the scars on his left hand. His dominant hand.

“Unless you want to run, rabbit,” Andrew giggled.

A door opened and Nicky called, “We're gonna be late for dinner!” Andrew threw the exy ball, Nicky yipped, and the door shut with a clank.

Andrew leaned towards Neil with a grin. “Make a choice, rabbit. Help me keep Day from turning back into a Raven by giving him what he wants, your game, and I'll keep the Ravens off of you. Or you can run now and see how well you do on your own.”

Neil itched to run. But the itch to play exy was stronger. He gave his game to the former-Raven.

…

 

The next day was brutal.

Just as Nicky had warned Neil, Kevin wasn't forgiving, didn't know how to be nice, and could certainly pissed everyone off. Including the drugged Andrew.

Neil hadn't heard what had been said between the two but for the rest of the scrimmage Andrew lobbed the ball at Kevin's feet.

That day established the routine for all the days following. Every moment Neil could, he spent towards exy. Early morning runs was followed by time spent in the gym. Then afternoon scrimmages and drills with the cousins and Kevin. After dinner, at Abby's with Wymack, the cousins, and Kevin, Neil went for an even longer run.

Neil found peace in his routine.

Too bad it didn't last.

 


	5. Coerced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil is kidnapped. Sorta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another deliberately short chapter!
> 
> Oh! and btw! I changed the name of the story! I could say that it was because of a comment on the title...but really as I wrote more and more of this story I realized that the original title didn't fit where I wanted to take this story. Aaaand I've always felt that Heathens by Twenty One Pilots fit All For The Game hilariously well.

It happened on an early morning run a week after Neil had promised his game to Kevin in exchange for staying and protection from a goalie on court ordered medication.

The protection was _coming from_ the goalie. And although Andrew was on court ordered meds (circumstances Neil didn't know the details for, just that something had happened right before the cousins' freshman year) the medicated goalie could and would pull hidden knives on people. His own family and charge included.

Even as the four men surrounded Neil as the sun greeted the Eastern horizon the striker didn't think a medicated goalie or a sober one could have been much help.

These four men knew what they were doing. Better than most that had come after Neil and his mother. These four were dressed to blend in. Not that there were enough people outside so early to blend in with. Neil also couldn't see where they were hiding the weapons. They _had_ to have weapons on them. Men like these four always did.

None of that made them dangerous to Neil.

What made them dangerous to Neil was that they didn't _look_ dangerous until it was too late.

Two of the men dropped their pretense of casualty and came towards Neil with purpose. From opposite sides of the street. At the same time, Neil heard two sets of footsteps behind him. A quick look behind showed that, they too, were coming towards him from different directions.

Neil's exits were effectively cut off.

He had no weapon. Neither knife or gun. All those had been left behind in an out of way hiding spot back in Millport. Because Neil was going to travel to South Carolina by airplane he couldn't have gotten any of the weapons through airport security. So they got left behind. And Neil hadn't had time to pick up anything new.

Neil didn't even have a cellphone. Not that he was sure he would have used it. Now it wasn't even an option.

With nothing else he could do Neil slowed his running down to a jog, then to a walk, and then stopped altogether. By then the two men in front of him had stopped a few feet away. If Neil looked behind he was sure the two behind were the same distance as the two in front.

For a moment no one said a word. Neil wasn't going to. He had nothing to say. Even if he wasn't busy calculating his chances of escaping he had nothing to say to these men. Whomever they belonged to.

Neil refused to let his guard down, even if he couldn't fight them off. The two men in front, that he could see, one was a foot taller than him and the other nearly so. Both were muscular without being overly so. The glimpse he had gotten of the two behind, the two make his back itch just knowing they are there, looked similar to the their friends. Nothing about any of their features would made them stand out. Anyone would have had a hard time pointing them out in a line up.

_Hand picked men,_ Neil thought. _And well trained._ More thoughts occurred to him, but he shoved them down before they could fully form. They don't matter anyhow. One of the men in front of him finally spoke.

“We are here to ask you to come with us.” He had no trace of accent.

“If I refuse?”

“Then we will stop asking and your brother will pay the price.” Neil couldn't read a lie in those words. The man before him had no reason to.

It was no choice at all. _Come quietly or we hurt you and we'll hurt your brother worse for our troubles._

_Fuck._

…

 

It was a black SUV that took Neil away from Palmetto State University and aborted safety.

It was that SUV that brought Abram to his twin, Nathaniel, after eight years of separation.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are there any tags I should be adding to this story? Let me know at any time.
> 
> P.S. The good stuff comes next!!!


	6. Flinching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abram meets Nathaniel (again), Jean (sorta), Tetsuji (unfortunately), and Riko (very unfortunately).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things.  
> one, notice the new tags (relationships and additional tags) and good luck figuring them out. Not all relationships will be romantic or sexual. Some will be platonic or familial. Good luck figuring which is which. I'll be adding more tags as I go (relationships and additional tags).
> 
> Two, I was going to make this so much longer. But couldn't bring myself to get detailed (of the graphic sort) with certain scenes. I could...but i couldn't. Not this time. Guess I'll be leaving this particular fic rated Teen.
> 
> P.S. Hope this chapter's what y'all expect. And sorry there isn't more dialogue. I'm sure there will be plenty later on.
> 
> *in the voice of Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures* One more thing! This chapter has implied/referenced abuse and implied/referenced torture and implied/referenced violence (how is that not already a tag??).

Nathaniel had forgotten to delete the last text from Kevin.

Riko now knew where Abram was.

And told the Master.

Only a few times over the past eight years had the Master personally punished Nathaniel. Twice after Nathaniel had passed his audition; when he'd missed his brother too much and had acted too childish. Once when Nathaniel hadn't yet learned that he wasn't supposed to play better than Riko.

After those few times his punishments had all come from Riko. Nathaniel was a quick learner, but he couldn't always keep his mouth from saying things he really shouldn't say.

Riko would also take things out on Nathaniel, sometimes Jean or one of the others, but mostly Nathaniel, when he had a bad day.

Being at Riko's mercy was never good. Riko didn't know the meaning of 'mercy'.

Neither did the Master.

Whereas Riko liked knives the Master had a fancy walking cane he wasn't afraid to use. Somehow that cane was worse than Riko's knives. Perhaps because he didn't _need_ a walking cane. Maybe because it only appeared when the Master visited the Nest.

Nathaniel, Jean, Riko, and the Master were in the locker room. The Master had his fancy walking cane.

Nathaniel hadn't needed to be told what he'd done wrong. Not telling the Master the information he had on Abram was a punishable offense. Hadn't needed to be told to kneel. As soon as he saw the Master and his cane it was automatic. Nathaniel didn't think he would die today. But he was going to wish for it, he was almost certain of it.

He didn't flinch when the Master raised the cane.

…

 

Nathaniel was barely conscious when the Master's phone rang.

“You have him? Good.” There was a pause. Then a sound of surprise. It was faint, but there. If there was more to the phone call Nathaniel didn't hear it. Either the call ended...or more likely, the darkness swallowed what little consciousness he had left.

…

 

When Abram Wesninski was escorted into the locker room of the Ravens he wasn't surprised to see people there.

He would call them a group, but they clearly were not.

Coach Tetsuji Moriyama stood front and center, as it were. Hands poised on the top of a ornate walking cane. Crisp dark suit. Face giving nothing away. Abram thought he looked more like a Japanese businessman than a coach of the sport he co-invented.

Riko Moriyama, Tetsuji's nephew, stood to the left and just slightly behind of his uncle. Dressed in well fitted black clothes and a sneer on his face. The Raven captain and striker was at ease with a casual stance.

Two more Ravens were in the room. To say they were standing would have been generous.

The taller man Abram knew by the number 4 tattooed on his left cheek. Jean Moraeu. He was only slightly better off than his shorter companion. He, at least, was up on his feet of his own volition. Jean was holding up his companion. Only just.

What Abram could see of the shorter man had been beaten. Badly. Abram couldn't even see a face. The man's head was hanging limply from his neck. _Was he even conscious?_

“Abram Wesninski.” There was something uncomfortably pleased in Tetsuji's tone. Uncomfortable for Abram. The only good thing about his name being spoken by the man was that now Abram could see the short Raven's face.

Abram wished Tetsuji hadn't spoken.

With a cry Abram could not repress, even if he'd tried, he ran to his twin.

Before Abram could take a second stride he felt finger tips against his clothes. But his escort wasn't fast enough.

Faster than his name being called Abram was by his twin's side to bolster Nathaniel from the side opposite of Jean. Once Abram was sure that his brother was supported better than before Abram's mouth ran away. “What the hell! I came as I've been 'asked'!” The quotes around the word were heavy in the air.

A calm voice edged in irritation answered, “His state is his own doing.” As if that explained everything. Maybe it did.

Abram eyed Tetsuji. He couldn't read the Raven coach. _The type of man to keep his thoughts and emotions well hidden._

“Enough of this. Kneel, Abram Wesninski.” The voice was calm and emotionless. But the tone was expected to be obeyed.

“No.”

“I'm sorry.” If the words hadn't been spoken close to his ear Abram would have missed them.

He looked into his brother's eyes. Same as his own. “I don't blame you.”

“Neither do I.”

“Kneel down!” The words weren't loud, but now there was the beginnings of anger to them.

Abram tightened the arm that was wrapped around his brother a fraction before letting Nathaniel go and stepping away. “Make me,” he told the Raven coach. Words he knew he was going to regret for the damage that they were going to cause him. Otherwise, no, he did not.

Behind him Abram heard a sigh and a whisper that did not come from Nathaniel.

Up came the walking cane. Abram refused to flinch.

…

 

Abram had thought a life on the run with his mother had been harsh. Had thought so of his mother. Abram had thought Kevin callous and his training methods brutal.

After hours with the Ravens as company and Riko as host Abram could have thought his mother almost soft. His thoughts on Kevin remained as they had been.

Riko was simply so much worse.

Phrases like 'drill sergeant' and 'ran a tight ship' didn't come close.

Abram was quick. But never quick enough. Certainly not good enough.

Seven years of not touching a racquet and a year of playing striker instead of backliner was a great black mark against him; and a great purple bruise where Abram was sure he had cracked ribs. Though the cracked ribs might have been a gift from the ornate cane instead of a striker's racquet. It was hard to tell.

Abram couldn't really tell much of anything from anything by the end of the day. Between the beating and the rigorous training Abram's head was full of fuzz and his vision was blurry. Things he saw and things he heard didn't make any sense.

He couldn't make any sense of why Jean was still on his feet. Let alone why Nathaniel was. When Abram arrived his brother couldn't fully stand on his own. On the exy court...Nathaniel stumbled but he still played.

Abram didn't stumble. He stumbled, fell, crashed, and, at least once, blacked out. Nathaniel was always there. A few times Jean was instead. Sometimes it was both. There was always murmured words and a soft nudge. Sometimes the nudge landed on a bad spot. When he winced they flinched. But they kept him moving.

…

 

By the time the day ended, Abram couldn't be sure that it had (being underground and all), Riko had his turn.

First had been Tetsuji and his cane. Then the Ravens and their endless cycle of drills, scrimmages, and short breaks for food and water.

When Riko brought out his knives Abram didn't flinch. When he was handcuff to the bed by Nathaniel, at Riko's order, their was pain in the familiar eyes. Abram didn't flinch and understood.

When Riko cut Abram's clothes off he didn't flinch. Nathaniel did. There were scars there that Nathaniel wouldn't remember and Abram hadn't wanted anyone to see.

When the first touch of metal and the bite that it brought came Abram tried not to flinch. It wasn't like it was the first time his skin had tasted that brand of sting. His torso was testament enough to that. Which Riko found amusing. Abram also tried not to flinch when the the blade began to slice. Flinching would only make it worse. A lesson his father taught a long time ago.

When the knife began to twist and dig Abram didn't flinch. He passed out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone cares.... I can be found (sometimes) on tumblr as [stuckatsix](http://stuckatsix.tumblr.com/). ...i also wanna ask y'all for help on scenes i'm stuck on... this [post](http://stuckatsix.tumblr.com/post/161131372282/any-ideas).


	7. do you wanna have a bad time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the title is a quote from Undertale. Yes, I play the game. No, i couldn't think of anything better. This chapter is too long for the usual titling system.
> 
> Warning for all the bad things. It's all implied.
> 
> And thanks to my [sister](http://blackkit10.tumblr.com/), not a twin, this chapter was written sooner than later. I had such a hard time with this one. took me three tries to get it right. and a lot of help from my sister, who got me reading the series in the first place.
> 
> P.S. if there are odd mistakes anywhere, especially towards the end...well, i didnt do the finally edits i normally do.

 

When Abram woke up, or became conscious again, it was to a warmth at his back he hadn't felt in too long.

But it wasn't his mother. In dreams or nightmares he couldn't fool himself that much.

He would have bolted up and out of the bed if he could. His body refused to be moved and the wall was scant inches away. As it was simply breathing hurt too much. It felt like his ribs were bound with something tight.

When Abram tried to discretely move to check them he discovered that he wasn't wearing a shirt. That lead him to realizing that he wasn't wearing anything on his legs either. But neither was he naked. As Abram shifted in a way that would make it look like he was shifting in his sleep found boxers and bandages. A great many.

His ribs were wrapped in a cloth bandage, below that taped pulled on skin as his stomach moved as he breathed. As did the stitches underneath. Over all he felt bruised.

“ _Good. You're awake. We need to get moving. Especially if we want to eat before practice.”_

Abram thought perhaps that his movements had not been as subtle as he thought. But another voice replied. And the words had been in French, as was the reply.

“ _Can't we let him rest a moment more? He isn't used to this.”_

“ _Wouldn't do any good. Besides, he woke right before you did. He must have the same internal clock you do.”_

The body behind him sifted. “Abram?”

He closed his eyes on the memories that flooded him. He shuddered. Which was a horrible thing to do. A ripple of pain went through his body, tearing a moan out of his lips.

“Abram?” His brother's voice was full of concern.

Abram shifted until he was on his back. There was room now for that. Just enough. “How have you gone through this for eight years, Natty?” The nickname slipped off of his tongue as if they were alone and ten years old again.

From the corner of his eye Abram saw Jean's lip twitch. Just barely. _Was that amusement?_ Nathaniel was propped up on an elbow. Abram's twin wore his amusement openly. “Not every day. You're a special occasion, Bram.”

Abram groan, this time for a different reason. “Christ. Why does it feel good to hear you call me that?”

“Heh, maybe for the same reason it feels good to hear you say mine. At least _yours_ is a better nickname than mine.”

Abram allowed the corner of his lips curl up.

French accented English broken in. “As much as this is amusing, we need to get moving now before it's too late to eat. Food will do you both good.”

“And you, Jean.” There was concern, for Jean now, in Nathaniel's reply as he sat up and sung his legs off the bed.

Jean waved the words away, but Abram didn't think it was a careless gesture. The taller Raven turned away. When he turned back he had a folded pile of black cloth in his hands. “These are yours, Abram.”

It was four t-shirts, three pairs of shorts, a pair of athletic pants, some boxers, and socks. All in black. Just like Jean was wearing. Same as Nathaniel. And the same, Abram suspected, as what all the Ravens wore.

“If you need anything else, if it's not in the Nest, it can be purchased for you.”

“How about a way out of here?” Abram asked dryly.

“Anything, but that,” Nathaniel told him sadly. “Now that the Master has you he won't be letting you go.”

“Welcome to the Ravens,” Jean told him. The words weren't any happier.

Abram tried to sit up to take the clothes. And could not. Not alone. He was simply in too much pain.

Nathaniel saw his predicament. He stood and offered a hand.

Abram stared at the hand. It was his brother's hand. Nathaniel was a Raven. Abram was expected to be a Raven now.

_Never_ , Abram decided as he brushed the hand aside. “I'm fine,” he lied. Refusing help meant going slow and biting his tongue so he didn't make a sound.

Nathaniel raised a skeptical eyebrow and disappeared into the bathroom that Abram hadn't noticed the night before.

While Abram was busy watching his brother walk away Jean had set the clothes down and retrieved a length of plastic and tape from a drawer. The black plastic looked like it might have once been part of a trash bag. At Abram's questioning look the taller man explained, “You need a shower and the plastic, once secured around you, will keep your stitches dry.”

Abram winced at old memories. He nodded his accent and let Jean cover his stomach.

…

 

Once Abram was fully dressed, slowed down by his injuries, the three went to eat breakfast. Which was a buffet of everything a Raven needed to keep going on the court. Specifically selected for the team by a nutritionist employed by the Master.

Nathaniel kept a careful eye on his twin.

He didn't like how Abram would only accept help if he absolutely had to. That wasn't the brother Nathaniel knew. Then again Nathaniel wasn't the same brother either. It used to be that they trusted each other more than anything or anyone.

That had been eight years ago. Eight years of separation. Eight years that Abram had spent with Mary on the run. (Though Kevin had said there hadn't been any sign of Mary.) Eight years Nathaniel had been in the care of Riko and Tesuji Moriyama. No, Nathaniel didn't blame Abram for his distrust.

That wasn't the only reason Nathaniel kept an eye on his twin. Two other reasons concerned the backliner. The other Ravens weren't taking well to the existence of Abram and weren't hiding it. And Abram wasn't steady on his feet, no natter how he tried to hide it.

The trust issues would take time to resolve.

Nathaniel and Jean kept putting out supporting hands, which kept being rebuffed.

Off court the other Ravens would stay away. A sharp smile and a sharp blade had taught them that. But on court.... Well, there you took care of yourself and your partner as best as you could.

A nudge to his shoulder had Nathaniel wincing, but it broke him out of his thoughts.

“Come, Nathaniel. We need to eat and get ready for practice quickly.”

Without a word Nathaniel and Jean had Abram sitting between them as they ate.

…

 

Jean was picking at the last bite of his toasted bagel when Nathaniel spoke up.

“ _Did Riko take your phone, Jean?”_

Jean looked over at Nathaniel in time to see Abram's shoulders tense. It could have been dislike at having someone talking in a language he didn't know. Jean thought otherwise. He had seen how Abram had gone still earlier when he had greeted Nathaniel in French. _Perhaps Abram learned the language as some point on the run._ Jean wasn't going to give away what he suspected.

He answered Nathaniel with, _“No. Luckily.”_

Nathaniel took a bite of scrambled eggs. _“Good. Can you message Kevin that Abram is here? I can't imagine what's going through his mind.”_

Abram whipped his head towards his twin at the sound of his name.

Jean shrugged. _“That's what got Abram in the Master's hands in the first place,”_ Jean reprimanded as he eyed Abram. Who was now glaring at Jean. _Was it an act to make it look like Abram didn't understand French?_ Whatever the case Abram huffed under his breath and went back to his grapes.

Nathaniel winced. _“Yeah. I know. I forgot to delete the damn text. I was too caught up in knowing that maybe Abram could be safe and play for the Foxes. I was wrong and we both payed the price.”_

“ _He pays the heftier price.”_

Nathaniel growled at the reminder. _“Will you text Kevin or not?”_

“ _I will. Later.”_

…

 

When the French started Abram was just going to pretend that he didn't care about them talking secretly in a different language.

That was until Abram heard that Nathaniel was, or rather had been, in contact with Kevin. And that Kevin had been talking to Nathaniel about Abram. Abram's insides seethed at the thought of the betrayal from Kevin. He thought the former-Raven had wanted Abram there, with Kevin and the Foxes. Abram had had to cover the surprise, and hurt he didn't want to admit to himself, by being unhappy at the two Ravens for talking about him in French. Where Abram shouldn't have been able to ease drop.

Then Abram almost, almost, exposed himself when he heard that Nathaniel had _wanted_ Abram _safe_. With Kevin and the Foxes. Not _here_ , with the Ravens and the Moriyamas.

But what good was it going to do telling Kevin that Abram was with the Ravens? What could Kevin possibly _do_? As Nathaniel had said, Tetsuji had Abram and wasn't going to let him go.

…

 

Abram stared at the black and red jersey before putting it on. Black with his name in red. _A. Wesninski._ And below that a red 5. Abram shuddered. He hadn't gotten a good look at it the day before and wished he'd never seen it. There was a matching one in the locker that had been assigned to him in opposite colors. That one was worse. To Abram that one looked like someone had cleared a space for his name in blood. Whereas at least the black jersey only looked like someone had dribbled blood to write his name.

Abram hated the jersey as much as he hated seeing that name. Wesninski.

_I rather have satellites being able to spot me in neon orange than wear this_ , Abram thought.

Riko yelled something across the room in Japanese. Whatever it was it had Jean saying, “Hurry. Finish getting ready or your punishment will be worse tonight.”

“How could it possibly get worse than last night?” Abram sneered.

Something unreadable passed over Jean's face. “You don't want to know,” he replied coldly. “Finish getting ready.” Nathaniel, who was sitting next to Jean on the other side, knocked his knee into the other man's in what looked like a friendly manner. A light reprimand, or perhaps, comfort and reassurance. Abram wasn't sure. Nor did he care. So he told himself.

The gear had been painful to get on and strapped tight enough. The jersey was almost as bad. His shoes were near impossible to tie himself. Abram gritted his teeth as his brother had to tie Abram's shoes for him.

…

 

If Abram had thought the day before was bad, he found out that things could get worse.

Practice was doubling exhausting. He was pushed further than the day before. When they were given a break, it was too short. Not enough time to recover any amount of energy. Barely enough time to piss or guzzle water.

When practice was called to an end it was to shower, eat, and sleep. In that order.

Nathaniel and Jean had to guide him off the court, to the room he woke up in, into the shower, and finally guided to the bed. He couldn't have made it that far on his own, even if he'd tried. But when Nathaniel stopped Abram from laying down to sleep all he could do was look at him with a dull eyed stare of confusion.

Nathaniel's lip turned up at the corner. “Sorry, Bram, but you need calories first.” A protein bar and an energy drink were pressed into Abram's hands. Abram opened them and consumed them with robotic automation. As soon as he was done he dropped the wrapper and the drink container and laid down on the bed. He would have fallen asleep right away, but a nagging thought pointed out that there were three of them in the room and two beds. Abram gingerly moved over until he was next to the wall.

It was the same spot he'd woken up in. The same spot in the bed when he shared with his mother. He had _always_ taken the side away from the door. When Abram had woken that morning he had felt as safe as if he'd woken up to sleeping next to his mother. As he fell asleep now he thought maybe he could have that safety again, but next to his brother. The same safety they had shared as children.

…

 

The sense of safety _was_ there when Abram woke a few hours later.

Well, sorta woke up.

Abram was dead tired. And he _ached_ so much! All he wanted to do was sleep. But there were hands pulling at him and pushing him. Abram tried to bat them away, but it was useless. The hands simply doubled.

“C'mon, Bram, you need to get ready for practice.”

Abram grumbled something. Even he wasn't sure what. Someone laughed and someone else huffed.

Once he was given food and something to wash it down with Abram woke up a little more. Only to find Nathaniel checking his bandages. “They're fine,” he tried to protest. It hadn't come out as strong as he intended. He simply couldn't muster any force for the words.

“I still need to check them. Don't want them going septic just because you don't trust me.” Nathaniel raised a challenging brow.

Abram clinched his jaw. He wanted to refute the statement, but couldn't. Not yet.

Nathaniel grinned. It was a shark's grin. “Truthfully, I wouldn't either. I haven't given you enough to trust me on.” As he talked Nathaniel pulled of the bandage. The stitches looked good. Somehow Abram hadn't popped any. The surprise must have showed on his face. “We use the good stuff here,” Nathaniel laughed sourly. “But if Riko doesn't take it easy on you...”

“He won't,” Jean cut in.

“...then you might pop a few.” Nathaniel sighed as he replaced the bandage with a new one, and lowered Abram's shirt. He'd been changed into clean clothes while he'd been practically asleep. Abram couldn't bring himself to be mad about it. When Nathaniel stood he tapped the toe of his shoe against Abram's, quick and gone again. “Let's go, Bram, we need to get ready for practice.”

…

 

Life in the Nest was an monotony.

The only thing that broke it up for Abram was Nathaniel and Jean. And Riko.

Nathaniel and Jean were always there to keep Abram going; whether he wanted or need their help. Eventually Abram stopped shoving their hands away. Partly because he couldn't keep himself upright half the time with out one of them there propping him up.

It didn't get past him that either Nathaniel or Jean were there to take the worst hits. Rather, the worst hits that were aimed at Abram, from the other Ravens. But the other Ravens still got hits it. Abram was starting to think he was collecting bruises like someone else might collect stamps, or coins, or figurines.

When night finally fell, according to the clock, Riko was always there to take his turn at Abram.

By the fall of the second night Abram was barely conscious as he left the court. He wasn't any better when he was led stumbling into the bedroom. So he didn't put up a fuss when Nathaniel was ordered to cuff his twin down. Abram saw thought he might have saw pain in his brother's eyes as the cuffs clicked. But he was loosing consciousness by that point.

That night Abram was never fully conscious as Riko took his knives to Abram's skin. Nor was Abram fully allowed to be swallowed by it.

Not even when Riko was done that night.

Nathaniel laid beside his brother, this time on the wall side, while Jean stitched and dressed the wounds.

“Tell me about mother,” Nathaniel's voice was soft. It could have lulled Abram to sleep. But Nathaniel wouldn't let him. “I need you to stay awake a bit, Bram.” Toes tapped Abram's. Quick and gone again. “Just for a bit longer.”

Abram didn't know what Nathaniel wanted to know about their mother, but he told his twin how she died. Of the internal bleeding he hadn't suspected. Of setting the car of fire with her still in it. And Abram told Nathaniel how he'd buried their mother's bones deep in the California sand.

All the while he felt the occasional tug on his stomach and the occasional tap of toes on toes.

…

 

The toe tapping toes was about the only thing that came through on days six and seven.... _no that wasn't quite right...._ Everything else was fuzzy and blurry.

Toes tapping Abrams toes stood out because it was so different from everything else. His toes didn't hurt and weren't _being_ hurt. And it was so odd.... A good odd. Something Abram never felt. Not even from his mother. This was safety and trust and something that was almost recognizable.

Even Riko's visit on night six or seven? _Or was it three or four...._

Abram was certain about the needles. Hundreds of needles pricking his cheek.

Then when the needles were gone the toe tapper tapped Abram's toes and told him to sleep.

Abram might have. Or passed out.

…

 

Nathaniel was boiling inside and could do _nothing_ about it.

By Abram's third day in the Nest Nathaniel's twin was a zombie. A bruised and battered, practically brain dead, and shuffling zombie. Abram's condition _could_ have been fixed with a few days' rest. But Riko wouldn't allow it. The _King_ was having too much fun with his newest toy.

That made Nathaniel furious and the other Ravens happy. They were free of Riko's attention as long as the King played with Abram. Which was, of course, wasn't good for Abram's current physical state or state of mind.

If Nathaniel or Jean said something to Abram he may or may not register that he was being spoken to. Sometimes Nathaniel would say something to Jean and Abram would answer _that_. Even if it had been in French. The first time that happened Nathaniel and Jean nearly jumped. After that Abram would answer nearly any question that was put to him in the language.

When Riko came with the tattooist instead of knives...that was worst.

Like every night Nathaniel was ordered to cuff his brother; something else he was powerless against. It simply added to the boiling mess inside.

But that night he was ordered to hold his brother still. As Nathaniel held Abram's head still for the tattooist he thought maybe his twin was coming out of the zombie mode. After all, the pain of the needles was vastly different than repeated bruising gained from practice after practice or the repetition of Riko's favorite form of torture.

Abram groaned something in French that might have been something about needles, but it gave Nathaniel hope. He was really tired of having a zombie for a brother.

…

 

The next morning during the trio's breakfast the zombie began to turn back into Abram.

It started with a tap of toes on toes on Nathaniel's shoe under the table.

At practice Abram still wasn't doing to great as a backliner, but Nathaniel could see that Abram wasn't stumbling nearly as badly as he had been.

When the brother's slept next to each other in their shared bed Abram slept with one hand tangled in Nathaniel's shirt; like Abram did when they were children.

If nothing else the rift that time had put between the twins was being mended.

They say that every gray cloud has a silver lining.

But that might be reflected light from lightening.

…

 

Jean hated when Riko found new ways to torture. It terrified him. Jean was usually the guinea pig. The lab rat.

Not this time.

This time Riko went for the Wesninski twins.

The relief that caused was the worse thing Jean Moreau ever felt. He hated himself for it; and other feelings. Feelings he couldn't afford as a Raven.

He told himself he was making it right by texting Kevin. He told himself that he was making it right by telling Kevin:

_Be ready when I give the signal._

…

 

Andrew Minyard was shaking. The problem was he couldn't tell if it was on the inside or the outside. With rage or withdrawal. Most likely it was both.

The rage was at himself. Though it lacked strength. There was no way he could have predicted that the runaway would be kidnapped. Or whatever the Moriyamas were calling it.

Now he sat in his car with Kevin outside of Evermore waiting for a signal from Jean to mount a rescue. And going through withdrawal.

Andrew shuddered, open the car door, and spit out bile.

Kevin's phone pinged. _Great timing,_ Andrew thought dryly as he sat back up right leaving the door open. Kevin turned the phone towards Andrew to show him the four digits on the screen.

The signal was the four digit code into the underground player quarters Kevin referred to as the Nest.

“Stay here,” Andrew told Kevin; just in case the former-Raven was tempted to go back to Riko. The goalie probably shouldn't have brought the striker with him at all, but Andrew wasn't going to leave him behind with Aaron and Nicky, either. And it wasn't like he needed Kevin with him in the Nest. Once Kevin had drawn a layout for him Andrew only needed the code to get in.

Andrew shut the car door behind him with a soft click. There wasn't anyone to hear, but he still didn't want to draw unnecessary attention.

With several swift strides Andrew was to the door, entering the code, and inside.

Once inside he didn't need the map he could have brought up with perfect clarity. It turned out all he had to do was follow the screaming.

Before he knew it Andrew was at the end of a dark hallway throwing a door open. It hadn't been locked. Andrew froze.

What Andrew saw would likely haunt his nightmares for...too long.

What had once been identical twins laid cuffed to separate beds.

One boy was missing an eye. Blood dripped from an empty socket. This one was the screaming one. Sounded like he was screaming a name. His head was certainly turned towards the other bed.

Where Riko was straddling the other cuffed boy. Something bloody held in his hand. Bloody and poised, ready for digging and tearing.

“No!” The scream was hoarse, but clear and strong enough to spur Andrew into action.

Riko wasn't much taller than the goalie, but he was lighter; and didn't expect an attack from behind. So Andrew was able to grip Riko by the collar and drag him off his victim. But Andrew didn't stop there. He punched Riko until the Raven was unconscious. And stopped there. No need for repeat incidents. Couldn't protect anyone behind bars.

When Andrew turned back around Jean was taking the cuffs off of the boy that still had two eyes; murmuring something in French. It looked affectionate. Something in Andrew's gut twisted.

A weak, “Nathaniel,” brought all attention to the other boy.

Jean cursed under his breath and tossed the small key to Andrew. “Quickly.” As if Andrew needed to be told that.

As fast as he could Andrew got the cuffs off. As fast and gently as he could he lifted the boy off the bed.

“Nathaniel?” he asked. Andrew moved aside enough to show that Nathaniel was fine. Or rather, in one piece.

“Abram,” the twin answered with a tentative smile.

Reassured by what he saw Abram smiled, genuinely smiled, at his brother, and passed out.

_Thank fuck_ , Andrew thought. He had no idea how the boy had been still conscious after having his eye cut out.

No one came to investigate the noise. No one made trouble for Andrew as he carried Abram out of the Nest. Or while Jean supported Nathaniel, guiding the shorter boy along the hallway and to the door to the outside.

Andrew was out the door and into the night with Abram in his arms when the goalie realized he wasn't being followed. He turned to see Jean and Nathaniel arguing softly.

“Come with us,” Nathaniel pleaded of Jean.

Jean shook his head. “I cannot.” He lifted a hand and placed it on the cheek with the 3 on it. His thumb covering the tattooed digit. “Go with your brother. He needs you more than I do.” Jean turned around and shut the door behind himself. Locking out two ex-Ravens and a Fox.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last chapter for awhile. I'M NOT DROPPING THE STORY!!! I simply need to clean and prepare my house for guests and i can't do that and write too. So in the hobbit tradition (even tho my bday is still 15 days away) this is my gift to you. And why its so f-ing long.
> 
> I can be found sometimes on [tumblr](http://stuckatsix.tumblr.com/).


	8. One. Not Two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abram wakes up in a panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cleaning is going good so I've written up a bit of a chapter. I was going to make this part of a longer chapter, but decided it was better by itself.

Abram came to slowly. As he did two important things stood out. He was alone, no one beside him and he could hear no one in the room; and that he didn't hurt as much as he should.

The first had Abram working too hard to get breath and the second only meant that someone had managed to give him painkillers. If most of his brain was too busy focusing on the first then Abram might have clued in on the second.

It seemed more important that Nathaniel wasn't nearby. His twin was _always_ near.

Finally Abram opened his eyes. Or tried to. Only one would open. The other had something covering it.

Then Abram remembered.

Riko straddling his waist. Riko with something in his hand. Not a knife. Worse. It had looked something like a ice cream scoop, but not nearly as pleasant.

The memory shifted and it was Nathaniel's waist that Riko had been straddling.

Abram screamed.

He heard pounding and gasping. The pounding feet on the other side of the door could have been the heartbeat in his ears. The gasping was a fair imitation of a fish on dry land. It wasn't until Nathaniel was there, inches away from his face, ordering Abram to copy his breathing that Abram realized that he wasn't doing a good job of it on his own.

The seconds ticked by slowly as Abram followed the slow inhale and exhale. He didn't truly begin to calm down until Abram raised shaky hands to his twin's face. A hand on either cheek, thumbs pointing at two eyes. Nathaniel still had two eyes. Abram could endure anything as long as Nathaniel was alright.

“I'm alright, Abram. Riko didn't get a chance to hurt me.”

“Riko almost had his very own Floatsam and Jetsam,” a voice giggled.

“Andrew!” The chorused reprimand had a horrified undertone.

Nathaniel's eyes were the only thing that flinched; otherwise Abram ignored the reference he didn't get.

Someone approached from Abram's right. His blind side. He physically flinched at the thought.

When she came into view Abby told the pair, “I need to check Abram's bandages.” She paused, hesitant. “Especially....” She couldn't say it after all.

Abram didn't need her to. Of course the team nurse needed to check his eye -  Abram couldn't think it himself. He swallowed and nodded.

Abby nodded and turned her head. “Aaron, can you get my kit? And the rest of you vultures can get back to whatever you were doing before. Shoo!” There was a snicker before the sound of footsteps departing.

Abram looked between the team nurse and his brother, unconsciously rubbing his thumbs along the crest of Nathaniel's cheeks.

Nathaniel took Abram's hands in his own and lifted them off and down. “I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere.”

Abram nodded, relief easing the tightness in his chest a bit.

For most of the 'exam' Abram was fine. Truly fine. Aside from the sadness that Abby exuded. _That_ was off putting. Who was this woman to care so much?

She told the brother's that Abram's wounds, the various knife cuts, on his torso were healing great. But that Abram needed to take it easy. Abram made a face when Nathaniel back Abby up on that. “As far as playing goes....” He eyes flicked to Abram's bandaged one. “I'm going to make you wait until the last stitch is out.” When Nathaniel looked like he would protest _that_ for his twin Abby was firm. “No.” She eyed Nathaniel's bruises and Abram's missing eye. “You aren't with the Raven's anymore. I don't know what they made you do or put you through, and from what I've seen I really don't want to know. But _won't_ have you playing when it's obvious that you can't. That goes for all the Foxes. Not just you two.”

Abram was taken aback. So was Nathaniel by the surprise his brother was letting show on his face.

Abby sighed and gestured to the bandage on Abram's face. “Alright. I think it's time we had a look.”

Abram tried not to watch as her fingers reached for his face. He tried not to watch he lost track of part of one hand and all of the other. He tried not to watch as Abby couldn't keep a blank face as she pulled the bandage off; which stung as the tape pulled at his skin.

Half the world was still dark when the bandage was gone.

Abram couldn't see the right half of his world.

He reached up to touch his face. Maybe his eyelid simply wouldn't open. Had they stitched it shut? Abram had heard that sometimes they did that for eye wounds.

“Don't, Abram.” Abram's wrist was caught in his twin's grip. Nathaniel had reached across to stop his brother.

Abby was quiet as she prepped a new bandage. She looked sad and angry at the same time. Abram couldn't figure out why. Not that he could bring himself to care. He was focused on the bandage the team nurse discarded, it had a red stained smile. An eyeless smile.

Abram felt his own mouth stretch and curve. He knew it wasn't a good thing. He'd seen the like on his twin. Their father before that.

Abram's smile still had at least one eye.

The smile dropped.

Abram only had one eye. Abram's right eye was gone. Abram couldn't see the right half of his world.

Then a thought struck like thunder and just as damaging.

Abram couldn't play exy with one eye.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Ariel reference was my sister's idea. And if she had had her way this story would have gone a whole lot different.


End file.
